was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
