On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
