I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
