Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
