Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
