Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
