No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
