Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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