So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
