I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
