Best friends brother. Beat that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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