Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
