and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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