Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
