you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
cat food counts as protein by the way
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
