everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
