i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
