he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize