we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
