Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
