Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
