I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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