can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
