Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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