so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
