dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
