I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
