He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
worst night to have a conscience
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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