just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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