so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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