Betty ford says i'm here all night
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
