Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
