The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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