69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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