sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
