If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
