I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
