so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
