so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
