i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
