Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Acid is not a monday night drug
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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