oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
