i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
