All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize