I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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