I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Someone shit on the floor
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We have started to decorate penises.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
