My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Your penis caused this!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
