Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
