Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
