I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
