oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
