Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
