There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
