i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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