would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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