id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
