do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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