I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
